Easter Egg Hunt
by FlowerPetalsToTheWind
Summary: It's Easter and Jack decided to treat the team to an Easter egg hunt. But of course, Jack's made his own rules. Fun. Just a one off. Please R&R. Tiny bit of coarse language.


**A/N Just a one off to celebrate Easter. It's late, I know, but I didn't have time to do it in the run up to Easter. Happy Easter everybody. Please enjoy and Review!! If you read it, just take a couple of seconds to tell me what you think.  
FlowerPetalsToTheWind**

"Happy Easter everyone!" Jack smiled coming into the Hub with little wicker baskets that children use to collect eggs with. Gwen raised her eyebrows,

"Jack," she said carefully, "What are you doing with those?" Jack smiled slyly.

"Well, it's Easter. I thought we'd have an Easter egg hunt. But of course, this is my game, so we'll play by my rules."

"Oh God Jack, not like hide and seek." Ianto moaned coming through with a tray of coffees.

"You don't like it because you lose, Ianto." Jack pouted. "Now, everybody, gather round, gather round." Jack called attention. Tosh sighed and left her computer to come over and Owen dragged himself up from the medical bay. Gwen and Ianto were already in the boardroom.

"I can't believe he's doing this. I swear he's lost it." Owen mumbled to Gwen as he sat down.

"Now then," Jack leaned on the table as he addressed them, "I have hidden 80 Easter eggs in the Hub. That is 20 each, if you can't count. Four giant gold ones, that's one each so if you find one it doesn't count if you find another, and 76 little Cadbury Crème Eggs. You'll like this bit Ianto, get your stopwatch out," Jack held his hand out for Ianto's precious timepiece. "You'll have 10 minutes to find as many eggs as you can. If you haven't found 20 eggs you have to take a piece of clothing off. And I'm not talking a sock, they come off as a pair and jewellery doesn't count. Every 10 minutes the same thing will happen. But I warn you, there are some easy eggs and some really hard eggs. Here you are," he handed out the wicker baskets, "Time starts now!" he called and clicked the stop watch. Everybody scrabbled to get out their seats. None of them wanted to lose any clothing. They all bolted and started charging around the Hub looking for little Cadbury Crème Eggs.

Tosh, always methodical, started at one end of the Hub and worked her way through but couldn't find a single egg.

Owen, knowing the Medical Bay the best started down there as he knew every nook and cranny that Jack could possibly hide an egg in. He whooped when he found one of the crème eggs.

Gwen searched all the computer stations top to bottom looking for tiny bits of foil to catch her eye. She grinned like a Cheshire cat when she found a glint of foil behind Tosh's hard drive. She screamed in delight when she pulled out a giant, gold, chocolate egg. Everyone looked at her. She carefully lowered it into her basket and casually flicked her hair in front of her face so no one could see her blush.

Ianto had gone straight to the coffee machine, a place that he knew better than the back of his hand. He knew he wouldn't have to strip a single piece of clothing as he knew the Hub better than anyone. He smiled when he found a crème egg in one of the coffee bags and another in the steamer.

Before too long though Jack had called, "Time's up!" and herded everyone back into the boardroom. "Well, how many eggs?" he looked, delighted with his game. Everyone reluctantly held out their baskets. Tosh looked dismal with having found none; Owen looked disgruntled with just one little crème egg after he saw Gwen with her giant gold one and Ianto in the lead with two little eggs. Jack tutted like he was mildly scolding children. "My, oh my, thought this was going to be easy? Like a child's game?" he smiled evilly. "No one managed 20 eggs?" he asked innocently,

"Does it bloody look like it Jack?" Gwen asked grumpily. Jack stood with his hands on his hips, expectantly. Everyone sighed in union and begin to take off a garment.

_Half an hour later…_

Jack laughed. Ianto unwillingly took his trousers off as Jack counted five eggs in his basket. Tosh's methodical system had proven to be a good method as she was now in the lead with 10 eggs but still only being half way there also had to strip another layer. She dropped her neck scarf at Jack's feet. Jack pouted, unhappy with the amount of layers Tosh seemed to be able to maintain on her person. Owen took his shirt off and threw it in Jack's face after he had only managed to collect six crème eggs. Apart from Gwen, no one had found the other gold eggs. Gwen was joint last with Ianto which meant they both had to pay a forfeit, a rule Jack instated after he thought they weren't taking enough clothes off in the first 20 minutes they had been playing. The forfeit was to remove another item of clothing of Jack's choice. Ianto had had to take his shoes off for not finding 20 eggs and his trousers off for being last. Gwen took her socks off for not collecting 20 eggs and took her bra off underneath her top for being joint last. "You won't want to be last in the next 10 minutes Gwen, because you know what will be coming off next." Jack winked at Gwen who gave him evils. He clicked the stopwatch and again the team scrambled out of the boardroom and started hunting around the Hub again.

Owen decided to check the vaults. "Jack, you are unbelievable." He muttered when he saw a nest of 3 crème eggs and a golden egg in Janet, the weevil's cell. Janet seemed to be avoiding the eggs, staying put on the other side of the cell to the little nest. When she saw Owen however, she moaned and growled and stooped over the eggs protectively. "Shit."

10 minutes later Jack called them all back into the Boardroom. Everyone stood there, minus Owen. A minute later, Owen came in panting, holding a can of weevil spray and a huge grin on his face. "Well done Owen." Jack nodded impressed. Owen's basket now held an extra 3 eggs plus a giant gold one.

However, this round had gone miserably. Apart from Owen, no one had found any eggs so now Owen was on 10, tying with Toshiko and Gwen and Ianto sighed as Jack stepped in front of them looking very pleased. "Still last are we you two? Off, off, off." Jack began to chant. This time Ianto took his socks off and Gwen took her trousers off. Jack looked them both up and down. "You," he pointed at Ianto, "Underwear." Jack smiled smugly, "And you," he pointed at Gwen this time, "Top." By this time, nobody was wearing trousers as Tosh had run out of ideas to avoid reveal anything stripping and Owen had not been wearing much in the first place. The team looked thunderous, semi-naked in front of Jack. "Time starts now." He said casually and clicked the stopwatch.

_An hour later…_

By now, the team were really fed up and cold in the damp Hub. They were all naked now and trying to avoid each other in their searches for little Easter eggs. Tosh and Ianto were now in the lead with 17 eggs each. Everyone had found a gold one now but Jack was definitely not joking when he had warned there were some really hard ones. The tired team tramped up to the boardroom for what felt like the hundredth time.

Ianto cursed as Jack counted 19 eggs in his basket, Tosh with 18 and Gwen and Owen both on 16. Now everybody had to do a forfeit, just to entertain Jack. It was a dare that Jack and the leader hunter would come up with. Owen had already pole danced and Gwen had kissed pterodactyl poo. She was then given a couple of minutes to sanitize before resuming the hunt. By now, Owen and Gwen had done almost every dare ever thought of and more besides. Right now both Owen and Gwen were dared to sing '_Sex Bomb_' and slut dance to Jack. "Come on Gwen, even Owen's doing a better job at slut dancing then you are!" Jack sniggered.

As the stopwatch set go for about the millionth time, Owen paused as everyone trudged out the boardroom. He looked at Jack for a second and then a light bulb went off in his head. "You are one crafty bugger, you know that?" he laughed at Jack as he turned around and found an egg tucked on the underneath side of the table, one behind the projector and another in a coffee mug left from earlier. "Right, where is the last one Jack fucking Harkness?" Owen walked over to Jack. Jack shrugged and as he did so Owen plunged a hand into one of Jack's pockets. He whooped as loudly as he could when he withdrew and produced a little crème egg. "That's 20 Jack! Give me my clothes back!" Owen laughed.

"You'll have to go find them." Jack smiled complacently.


End file.
